There’s no small shame in starting a blog and then not blogging. I could bore you with the reasons why I floated beyond the blogosphere in recent months, but the short of it is that I was supposed to rescind all other priorities, and I did not.
Can we start again from scratch?
Hello. My name is Karen. One of my best qualities is that I never stop thinking and that I find everything worthy of thought. It is also one of my worst qualities, or at least the most annoying.
I blog rather than diary (which really should be a verb) because I want the company. Though a fairly intense introvert, I love people: their stories, their fears, their memories, their minds. I also love to share. Writing as if to someone else, even if no one happens to be listening at that particular moment, makes me write better, as long as I remain myself and don’t try to be pleasing or—worse—clever. I live in perpetual fear of living inauthentically.
I thought I would blog about books and films and photography and everything I love, but I think that actually kept me from blogging in the first place. I don’t know. I felt that I had to be “useful” and in order to be useful, I had to say something really IMPOHTANT and say it REALLY WELL and who the heck has the time for that on a daily basis? Did I really need to bother anyone with the reasons why Smaug needed to be sexier or my unresolved feelings about the violence in Django Unchained (exploitative? realistic? I just don’t know!). I also live in perpetual fear of living excessively.
I want to blog again. Like getting exercise and eating right, blogging always makes me feel better afterwards. But I worry that I will forget this a month from now, when facing a stack of papers to grade. But I’ve decided that 2014 will be the year of living intentionally: acting with purpose rather than merely crossing items off an ever growing to-do list. (Though I won’t lie: I REALLY enjoy my to-do lists as well and won’t give them up.)
But I’d also like 2014 to be the year of living moderately–lowering standards somewhat, enjoying everything I’m doing rather than worrying if I’m doing it all perfectly well.
What do you want your 2014 to be?